I’m sitting here wondering where the mood came from. I just paused. On everything. It happens often but this is the first time I’m reacting against it. My show is coming up and I decided to go against what I normally do and joined a social media driven health and fitness challenge. But somehow, I paused. And it bothered me.
As the show gets closer I think more and more about what kind of impact I wish to make. Wish. Wish is a bad word. This is why I’m angry that I paused. I sit here wishing. Wishing forces me to pause. For long periods at a time. I’ve planned on doing two things that will force me to confront my bad habits. Prosrastination, laziness, ill planning, the kind of shit folk never want to confront about themselves. The easy answer is change but fuck, you’ve got to work on that.
The show date is getting closer and I’ve still got collages to make, foods to change and minutes of exercise to put in. And I’m _____.
Just for my own sanity, I’ve got to make this right or else I’ve done a whole lot of bullshit for nothing. And it doesn’t even have to be like that. The way I figure at this point I have no choice but to prove and go home.
Mainly because I’m ready to move on in life. There’s another way of creating and thinking now. New philosophies and ideals have blossomed forcing me to just see it ALL a little differently.
Even my own work, worth and lifestyle.
- all hail king carla
